STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
