Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
