When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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