so that wasnt chicken after all
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize