its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
