East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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