Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
