You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You made out with two different species that night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Randomize
