I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
