dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
