I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
