Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
