Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
