things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
