Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
