he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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