It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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