I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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