I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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