the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
