I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
