people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
