her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
