Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
