we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
