HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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