It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
