i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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