Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
