im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
