the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have fence marks all over my body
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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