How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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