it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize