remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
