Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
