About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize