no, he came in my armpit
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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