Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
