I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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