Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
someone owes me an orgasm
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
