scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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