Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
