he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In other news, I just burned my penis
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize