i need an iv and a liver transplant
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
