I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
