He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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