did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
