If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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