I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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