It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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