How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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