What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
