K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize