Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
