i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
