she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
