Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
