Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
