Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
