what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
