I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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