Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize