I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
